Addressing racial wealth gaps

Our Commitment

Report date
July 2019
Learning Log

When I embarked on this journey, I was clear that I wanted to redefine my time, reclaim my voice, and reinvigorate my impact. For the last couple of years, my purpose has been greatly focused on leading others first while navigating someone else's blueprint. I think that I can confidently say that in all of my roles, I've been fortunate to deliver positive outcomes and lead with credibility, boldness, and empathy. Yes, with all that, there have been moments of failure. However, doing the work the way I've done it has positioned me to take on the title of leader. The heart of my Fellowship has been about transferring my leadership value from these places to began to chart own my position and power. I still hear myself saying, yes, that's what I will do. I got this. Today, I'm like girl what was you thinking, transition is never that easy and you will be tested (lol).

The last five months in particular, have been full of new patterns, paths and possibilities which I'm grateful for and at the same time grappling with where the "new" will lead. The biggest eye opener in all of this has been how much work I've needed and need to do to "Lead Me." What I mean by that, is intentionally being self-aware, setting personal goals, and motivating action with positive self talk to deliver on my goals. I articulated in my fellowship application that I was tired and that my personal bank account was low. I didn't truly realize how much in the red I was operating. As I've reflected, I have no idea how in the past and to be honest even throughout this year, without missing a beat I've showed up for others. Growing up, I was told that being Black and especially being a Black Women in leadership, the light will shine brighter on you so be mindful of how you walk. Well, even the sun in all of its glory will drain you.

So, what am I doing to lead me? First of all, equipped with this deeper understanding of me I'm getting comfortable with leading when no one is looking except me. Doing the internal work. If I truly want to experience transformative leadership I know that I have to put in the time, energy, and critical thinking to make it happen. All things that are either your friend or enemy. Secondly, as I build out my businesses, I must remember that I'm the fuel boosting the engine. If I'm running on empty, I go no where. I have to put in me the same or more than I put in others. My leadership scale needs to get in alignment with the position and the power I'm seeking. Lots to learn, lots to do.

The last thing I will say is that doubling down on the self-leadership does not mean that I won't continue my commitment to the work of transforming lives as a result of inclusive economic growth. It's needed and it's so necessary for such a time as this. As I've stated above, I'm just putting the scales in balance. I'm excited for the results and the next chapter of my leadership journey!